5 Quick Tips to Keep Social Media From Ruining Your Marriage
Updated May 12, 2021
This post is part of a series on the #FiqhOfSocialMedia which has now been published as a book. Please visit Amazon to purchase.
Does Social Media Really Cause Divorce? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buT-U-bNHmk
Facebook is more commonly being listed as a cause of divorce. But is social media really the culprit?
Social media is a tool, and a magnifying lens. To answer the question it is important to understand how social media impacts marriages.
Married couples have had problems and issues since the beginning of time. It is how they deal with those issues that has changed.
Social media provides an outlet. When someone is upset with their spouse, they can now:
Reconnect with old flames or exes
Air dirty laundry about their spouse, particularly if they're fighting
Find someone else to talk to and message if they are upset
Flirt with people of the opposite gender without a physical element
We have a good idea of our boundaries with people in person, but those lines get blurred online. What kind of messages and comments are appropriate with someone else?
There is no easy answer to that question, but here are 5 quick tips that can help you keep social media from getting in the way of your marriage.
1. Unplug
I was talking to my barber, and he was mentioning that he was really struggling with his wife's phone usage. The issue was that she ran her own business from her phone, so no matter what they were doing she was constantly on it - whether it was eating dinner or watching a movie together.
These are the kinds of things where the action seems justified but it slowly becomes a bigger problem. Prevent this by making sure you set aside time with each other every day where you're together without any screens.
2. Don't Air Dirty Laundry
It's tempting to vent online if you are upset with your spouse. It is even more tempting to do it in a passive aggressive manner (like posting song lyrics). A lot of things should be kept within the privacy of the home, or aired with a qualified counselor or Imam. Posting these types of things online only invites others to negatively interfere in your marriage.
3. Unfriend Anyone Your Spouse is Uncomfortable With
Couples should set their own guidelines for who they will interact with online. The primary thing to keep in mind is to be fair and on the same page. If a husband insists his wife not be friends with any men on Facebook, he should be prepared to do unfriend all his female friends as well.
This is especially true if you are friends with someone you are attracted to or have a history with. Close the doors - your relationship with your spouse is far more important than being able to hit like on an acquaintance's photo of chicken tikka.
4. Affirm Positive Things About Your Spouse
We have a tendency to make bad jokes or use degrading language when speaking of our spouses - just to get a laugh. Instead, say something positive. This doesn't mean you have to be lovey-dovey online, but a positive comment here and there goes a long way. For more on this, I highly recommend reading this excellent article by Michael Hyatt.
5. Find New and Creative Ways to Express Your Love
One of the traps of social media is that we simply become busy. Creating margin in our lives and squeezing time for almost anything becomes an uphill struggle. Find ways to continually show your spouse that they are the most important person in your life.
